"I don't know what I expected."
Satan: You can have anything you wan--
Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
Satan: What the--?
Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*
this is mY FAVORITE THING
- “You’re too little to do it by yourself, baby, let Daddy help.”
- “Do that again and I’ll spank you; Is that what you want?”
- Everyone can tell what a naughty little girl you are…”
- . “Tell Daddy what you want — use your words
- "Need Daddy to take care of you?"
- ”Come here princess”
- ”Hold still for Daddy”
Do you ever have passive OTPs
Like, you don’t read fic, you don’t look for art
but whenever something turns up you’re like hell fuckin yea
one time in an english class we were making notes about shakespeare’s life and the teacher was like “his father was a glove maker” and the guy next to me started laughing really hard so i looked over at him
his pen had stopped working before he could write “maker” so it just said “shakespeare’s father was a glove” and that was the funniest thing in the world to this guy for some reason